A List Like This

Inspired by my friend PC's post, I've copied him and compiled a list of my own.

At age three I met my best friend, whose friendship over the years has been witness to my joys and delights, my sorrows and struggles, and every milestone in between.
I attended small elementary and middle schools that had clean bathrooms and half-days on Fridays.
My childhood memories do not include fights with my siblings.
Much of my childhood, adolescence, and beyond has been spent in dancing shoes.
I have been fed delicious food at a full table surrounded by family and friends.
I have an extended family that loves deeply.
I was born to a mother who often times has known me better than I know myself, makes me laugh to no end, and never stops teaching me.
I have had the privilege of education, one of the biggest gifts I could ever receive.
I have an intelligent father who faithfully provides for a family in which he takes greatest pride.
I have had the opportunity to glimpse into another culture, language, and people that have shown me a different perspective on human rights, acceptance in society, and interpersonal communication.
My future holds the potential for a career that completely fascinates me.
EVERY chapter of my life has been graced by a friend to look up to, an encourager, a teacher, a follower of God willing to love me however I needed it most.
I have been shown a mercy that I can barely begin to understand.
I have made “huge” mistakes that God has used as huge opportunities to love me, grow me, and draw me near to Him.
I have been redeemed and am constantly being made new in Christ. Each night I am put to rest with the unfailing assurance that “it’s okay”.

Confident Expectation

Trust – (v.) to believe; to expect confidently (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/trust)

After yesterday’s post, I was thinking a lot about trust. I was reminded of a few other times in my life when I experienced something that made me think, “Wow, now I know what it means to really trust God!” Each of those scenarios was different and added to or slightly adjusted my perception of what trust was.

Each day I am faced with a new opportunity to trust God. Each day I have the option to “expect confidently” a victorious outcome in whatever situation arises.

Isaiah 26:4 “So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].” (Amplified Bible)

Swallowing Tears

My mom has two days left of radiation. In two days, the battle of breast cancer will be mostly over. It seems like such a simple, easy end to such an involved process. A process that included multiple meetings with multiple doctors, research, two surgeries, sixteen weeks of chemotherapy, hair loss, appetite loss, exhausted days spent in bed, and radiation. After having experienced the ups and downs of this journey, to have worried and prayed through it, the culmination seems to come so quietly. It’s hard for me to grasp that all that’s left is recovery, and the fear in the back of my mind creeps forward.

What if I someday get a phone call and the cancer is back? Will there be hope for another go-round? My delicate heart can’t stand the thought of my family enduring this again, but my mind insists on going there. Not only does my mind insist on going there, it goes too far. I have not finished my education. I have not accomplished what I aspire to in a career. I have not been engaged. I have not been married. I have not birthed a child or struggled through my first parenting experiences. I have not bought a house or hosted a holiday meal. My fear is that I would fail to realize these ambitions without my mom. And if I did reach these goals, I certainly couldn’t celebrate without her.

It embarrasses me to admit these fears. As I reveal them on this page, I stifle my emotions because I know my God is almighty. He has overcome all of this, and He knows my heart. He knows exactly what I need and provides it to me with open hands and outstretched arms. He is my Great Comforter. He is also my strength. My endurance. He is my joy.

Philippians 4:6-7 “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (The Message)