Temptation

Last Sunday at church, my pastor said, "Our ability to withstand temptation has more to do with our confidence in God than anything."

In this light, it is so much easier to understand why I'm tempted by the things I am. I can identify exactly what areas I'm lacking trust. It seems so much easier to address, manage, and fight those temptations knowing why Satan sees them as easy-to-attack weak spots.

He also shared these poignant tidbits...
Every time you are tempted, three things are at stake - your future, someone else's future, and the future of your faith.
Every time you sin, three things are compromised - your relationship with God, your connection with God, and your confidence in God.

I no longer have to pray for God's help in changing my behaviors. Instead I can focus my prayers on areas of my heart where I now know my trust needs a boost. "Please help my boyfriend and I stay physically pure" just changed to "God, I know that if we cross the line, even just once, my connection with You will experience a tear. Instead of just hoping that doesn't happen, I can place full trust in You. I am confident that with Your wisdom we can make healthy choices to stay out of compromising situations. I am confident that making these choices will strengthen our relationship and allow us to experience more of Your fruit, rather than make us feel like we're missing out on something."

I feel refreshed by this perspective change, and better equipped to handle the temptations the devil throws at me.

January 1, 2013

Looking back at journal entries from a year ago, I see that they are all about processing the hurt from the year before. God was faithful in 2012 to deliver healing, new perspectives, and new revelations. I'm thankful today that I'm not in the same place as I was this time last year.

I believe that 2013 is going to build  on the growth for which 2012 laid the foundation. I believe that this year God is going to reveal more of how he wants to use me. I believe that 2013 is going to mean deeper friendships. In 2012, God gave me the words "pure", "precious" and "balance". What words will mark the lessons of 2013? This will be a year of more prayer - more continuous, more intimate, more listening. This will be a year of more focus on eternal value. Skills will be developed in 2013 - communication, academic, organization, discipline.

I'm so thankful to serve a God who doesn't stop at mediocre. I'm looking forward to the challenging growth of 2013 and the fruit the year will bring.

Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within  you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. NLT

The God of Do-Overs?

Today in church, our children's pastor preached a sermon titled "The God of Do-Overs". She used the example of getting back on track after something didn't go well or looking back on the last year and thinking it didn't quite go as expected.

While the meat of the sermon focused on putting God first in our lives, trusting that He has our best interest in mind and heart, and that He's not done with us yet (all fine and dandy), I couldn't help but feel a little disagreement with the sermon's title. When I think of a "do-over" I think of going back to before something happened and making different choices to yield a different outcome. Dictionary.com backs me up by defining "do-over" as "a chance to redo an action". Thankfully I don't feel that in 2012 my life held any events that I'd rather it didn't, but I can identify a few things from earlier years that could fall into the "not so awesome" category. However, I don't wish to do them over. They may have been hard, painful, and ugly but God took my sorrow and turned it to laughter. He took my weakness and gave me strength. God was able to deliver good out of each terrible thing that happened. Would I still have received those blessings if the icky things didn't happen? Would I understand joy and endurance if I had never felt despair and defeat?

As God's children, are we ever really off track? If God is truly not done with us yet, like Philippians 1:6 says, isn't it all just a part of the process? Maybe we don't need to get back on track or do over, we just need to keep going forward. We don't heal from pain so that we can forget our hard times. We heal so that we can become more whole, be more intimate with God.

The Acorn and the Tree

Tonight at Epic Life, Sean Lawrence spoke about patterns. Specifically, about breaking patterns. He emphasized the importance of noticing patterns and understanding why we do the things we do.

This topic reminded me of something that had been heavy on my heart and mind a while ago, but somehow was forgotten in the shuffle of life. Tonight was like an alarm on your cell phone reminding you where you're supposed to be in fifteen minutes. It was God saying, "Pay attention to this. This is important. Listen, and let this be processed."

Many of our patterns are learned. These include thought patterns, behavior patterns...They are not all negative, either - we can learn patterns of maintaining good dental hygiene or showing up on time for class. Many of our patterns come from the people we spend the most time surrounded by, the people who pour into us the most. The people we look up to.

We've all heard the saying, "The acorn didn't fall far from the tree." I had a new perspective on this cliche tonight. It is good that the acorn didn't fall too far from the tree. We don't want to lose the many wonderful, timeless, positive things that can be passed down to us by family or other close relationships. But it is also very important that the acorn does indeed fall. We can't continue old cycles. We must become the new creations that God set us apart to be when He created us. We have to shed what should be left in previous generations in order for a new generation to take root.

A Midsummer Storm

I planned on saving more money this summer. I planned on being at my current job for the next two years. I planned on being ready to move into a new place right about now.

Instead, I lived on a tight budget to pay the ridiculous student fees for a summer class (and accrued a good chunk of debt to my parents for the class’ tuition). I have no idea what my job situation will be in a month. Each day at the office I’m made more aware of the uncertainty rather than guided by helpful information. It’s hard to sign a lease without any potential roommates and the possibility of not having a job soon, so the prospect of moving back to my parents’ house in my hometown once again looms in the distance.

“Well, at least you just did this whole thing a couple months ago so you’re used to it!” someone chidingly encouraged me.

It’s true. My life in January was a less comfortable version of my life today. Circumstances are similar, but I learned how strong I was when I activated Christ’s power in me. I saw Him carry me through the storm, blessing me the whole way. That storm was full of downpour, lightning, and thunder…that’s why this one is just a mild sprinkle. The same questions have not weighed on my mind this time because they’ve already been answered.

Though I would say that my body is exhibiting some symptoms of stress, my spirit is still and peaceful. That’s why it’s good to go through life’s storms. Because there’s always a storm in the distance, and you’ll know how be more still the next time.

Beautiful Truth

I wrote this last Thursday, July 5th...

This morning I read Psalm 72. Here are some things about God in this text:

God wants rulers/leaders to be just and righteous.

God cares for the poor, oppressed, weak, and needy.

God helps us know how to treat people.

God is worthy of fear.

God does wonderful things

God is glorious and worthy of praise forever.

These are only some of the beautiful truths about you, God. You are so wonderful and worthy of praise. You are ever molding the hearts of your children and revealing yourself to us. It is only because of you that I have life. Every good thing in my life is from you and belongs to you, Lord. You are worthy of more praise than this. You are worthy! Your name brings me gladness because in you I find identity, peace, hope, friendship, romance, counseling, laughter, strength, and wisdom. I wake up knowing that each day is an opportunity to be with you. I go to sleep knowing that every moment to come is protected by you. You are my Everlasting Lord.

Thank You for Being.

Thank you for being in Guatemala.  Thank you for providing money for ministry there.  Thank you for changing the hearts of Guatemalans, drawing them close to you and for the ways they will experience Your Presence.
 Thank you for being in the Middle East.  Thank you for protecting the people there.  Thank you for peace.  Thank you for colorful, joyful lives, for smiles, for faith, and for friendship.
Thank you for being in Panama.  Thank you for being on Grandpa's land and in his house.  Thank you for blessing that place and the generations that will reside there in the future.
Thank you for already being in North Carolina.  Thank you for a job and a paycheck, a house, and friends.  Thank you for a new season.
Thank you for being in Santa Cruz.  Thank you for a place to live and a summer of pursuing passion.  Thank you for laughter, sunshine, dancing, and playing.  Thank you for confidence.
Thank you for being in Texas.  Thank you for peace and patience.  Thank you for guidance.  Thank you for discernment and wisdom.  Thank you for fulfillment.  Thank you for new experiences, and for cherished memories.
Thank you for being in Chico.  Thank you for new-found love.  Thank you for hope.  Thank you for understanding.  Thank you for grace to be experienced.  Thank you for identity.  Thank you for open arms.
Thank you for being in Sacramento.  Thank you for growth.  Thank you for victory.  Thank you for purpose.  Thank you for strength and power. Thank you for perseverance.  Thank you for trust.