Confident Expectation

Trust – (v.) to believe; to expect confidently (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/trust)

After yesterday’s post, I was thinking a lot about trust. I was reminded of a few other times in my life when I experienced something that made me think, “Wow, now I know what it means to really trust God!” Each of those scenarios was different and added to or slightly adjusted my perception of what trust was.

Each day I am faced with a new opportunity to trust God. Each day I have the option to “expect confidently” a victorious outcome in whatever situation arises.

Isaiah 26:4 “So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].” (Amplified Bible)

Swallowing Tears

My mom has two days left of radiation. In two days, the battle of breast cancer will be mostly over. It seems like such a simple, easy end to such an involved process. A process that included multiple meetings with multiple doctors, research, two surgeries, sixteen weeks of chemotherapy, hair loss, appetite loss, exhausted days spent in bed, and radiation. After having experienced the ups and downs of this journey, to have worried and prayed through it, the culmination seems to come so quietly. It’s hard for me to grasp that all that’s left is recovery, and the fear in the back of my mind creeps forward.

What if I someday get a phone call and the cancer is back? Will there be hope for another go-round? My delicate heart can’t stand the thought of my family enduring this again, but my mind insists on going there. Not only does my mind insist on going there, it goes too far. I have not finished my education. I have not accomplished what I aspire to in a career. I have not been engaged. I have not been married. I have not birthed a child or struggled through my first parenting experiences. I have not bought a house or hosted a holiday meal. My fear is that I would fail to realize these ambitions without my mom. And if I did reach these goals, I certainly couldn’t celebrate without her.

It embarrasses me to admit these fears. As I reveal them on this page, I stifle my emotions because I know my God is almighty. He has overcome all of this, and He knows my heart. He knows exactly what I need and provides it to me with open hands and outstretched arms. He is my Great Comforter. He is also my strength. My endurance. He is my joy.

Philippians 4:6-7 “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (The Message)

What is God trying to do to draw you closer?

God is teaching me not to rely on our time together in the morning to feel connected with him.  I am learning to cherish that time, but my remaining in him is not based on whether or not it happens or how "well" it goes.

Anger

James 1:20  "Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." NLT

Believing Truth

Another thing I thought was interesting from the women's event was the statement, "What we believe about ourselves may be the chief obstacle to our believing the truth about God."

If we believe our sins are too big to be forgiven, then we are not believing in the full capacity of God's grace.  If we believe our problems are too small to pray about, then we are not believing that God's love stretches to the minute details of our lives.

But in reality, who God truly is DETERMINES who we are.

If God loves unconditionally, then we are unconditionally loved.  If God is the Great Provider, then we are completely taken care of.  If God is our strong foundation, then we cannot be broken or crumbled.  If God is our fortress, then we cannot be conquered.  If God is our potter, then we are his clay.

This challenges me to search scripture for hints at who God is whenever I read it, and think about THAT rather than who I am.

What is the purpose of life?

This question was posed by the keynote speaker at last weekend's women's event.  Through studying a series of verses that talk about KNOWING God, Shelley Pimentel came to this conclusion:

"We exist to ENGAGE WITH GOD in a gritty, beautiful process of transformation - a process to KNOW and LOVE God and to become a REFLECTION of him so that others may somehow see him and come to know, love, and reflect God too."