Tonight I told my roommate I had been trying to process my anger from the events that occurred this morning. She shook her head and laughed remembering how I had stormed into the house at 8:25am, on the verge of tears, venting about what I perceived in that moment as the worst morning anyone on Earth could ever be put through.
The average roommate would have replied, "Yeah, you were crazy," accepted rage as a part of my God-given character, and been careful to tread lightly around me from this day forward.
But my roommate sat down with me and helped me walk through the situation step-by-step. Even though she knew the story from my rather emotionally-charged account earlier today. She allowed me to tell the whole thing once more as she interjected with questions. "What did the other person say at the beginning?" "How did you feel?" "How did you react?"
Our investigation uncovered this: I felt belittled by the way I had been spoken to, which caused me to feel hurt and anger. It would be normal to be a little frustrated by the way things had gone down, but I was boiling. That was unnecessary.
"When I saw you were about to cry this morning, I knew there was a deeper issue than the one that had just occurred to make you so upset. What have you experienced in your life that brought up similar feelings?" my roommate pressed. Out came other instances in which it seemed like someone was communicating that they didn't think I knew what I was doing, I was incapable or unprepared.
At the root, these are the lies we found: When I feel belittled it means I am incapable. When I feel belittled by someone I need to prove myself to them.
Through this dirt, God grew these beautiful truths: It doesn't matter how others perceive me. I am capable, because I am a daughter of God and I have the Holy Spirit living in me. I have the Mind of Christ. I am smart. I don't need to prove myself to anyone. I can leave a situation with a peaceful heart no matter what the other person thinks of me, because God knows who I am.
