The morning of July 7th, I was awoken at 4:30 in the morning. It's unusual for me to wake up during the night, but in this instance my eyes popped right open. The first thing I noticed was the fear I felt and the fact that my body was defensively curled up against the wall adjacent to my bed. So I began praying against the fear. I know God is always here, so there's no place for fear in my house.
My prayers turned from declaring God's presence, power and protection to lifting up my loved ones and various events happening in the world.
Around 5:15am, God told me, "Get up and go watch the sun rise." Reluctantly I crawled out of the cocoon I had made from my comforter and stepped into the living room. Opening the blinds and looking to the horizon (or the roofs of houses) I saw the bright, beautiful sun peeking out in the distance while everything up close held on to the timid gray twilight.
Me: "Why am I here right now?"
God: "I wanted to tell you I love you."
Me: "Wow. Thank you. I love you too. What else?"
God: "I'm really proud of you."
Me: "You have my full attention. I'm listening to you."
Then, as the sun crept slightly higher in the morning sky, the lamp across the street from my house began to flicker on and off. Simultaneously, the artificial light went out like a candle in the wind and the sun burst it's final inch over the town and flooded everything in sight with the brightest, most courageous yellow-orange color I've ever seen.
"This is you where you are," God revealed. "For so much of the time you've lived in Sacramento, you have felt your life was in transition. It was, but you know who you are now. YOU are no longer transient. You are not flickering between who I made you to be and who the world confused you with. Everything you do comes from the authenticity of the TRUE source of light and life, Me."
If I had allowed the fear I initially felt to grip me (agreeing with the fact that I felt afraid rather than the truth that God is in control), I would probably not have heard God telling me to get out of bed and missed this entire message. Just like with my identity, if I allow fear to govern me I will miss opportunities to see, experience, and be God's light.
